As we begin a New Year, some of us are also starting our journey through grief, and we need to face some key questions: How can we overcome the feeling that we are struggling through a fog of despair? How do we overcome our sorrow and loss? Is it possible to grieve on our own (without help)? Can God give us additional inspiration and strength? When and how do we give attention to our grief? What action steps must we take to start our healing process?

Here are five ‘Essential Stepping Stones’ to help us begin this journey.

Let Happiness Sneak in the Back Door!

“Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open” - John Barrymore. Happy moments are ever present. These opportunities are abundant even in times of deep grief. Often, new healing possibilities sneak unnoticed through a door that we left opened, emerging motionless, waiting to be received and embraced. During our unique personal grieving, we may not perceive their value. It can be helpful to search more deeply for all the happy, joyful moments, opportunities and possibilities.

--- Be Grateful For All Good Things!

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are” - Marianne Williamson. Grief happenings come in many dosages, but present in our grief are also joyful happenings. Being aware of these joyful moments and cultivating a grateful heart, even in the midst of our grief, is healing to our soul and our emotions. Often during a grief experience, it is common to overlook the joy that occurs in our lives because it’s not easy to find. “Half the joy of life is in little things taken on the run ... but let us keep our hearts young and our eyes open that nothing worth our while shall escape us” - Victor Cherbuliez. Our grief experiences may have had us on a dead run on our sorrow path. Our eyesight may need adjustments so that nothing worthwhile will escape our perspective or awareness. Counting our blessings will help us to be able to concentrate on the good things that are part of our lives.

--- Accept Personal Responsibility!

We may not have been able to prevent or control loss from happening in our lives. “Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself” - Walter Anderson. Although we may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, we are responsible for our attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken our lives. Please do not despair, for behind every dark and mournful cloud is a beautiful blue sky with a future of hope available for anyone willing to seek it. Let’s decide what we can do - and do it!

--- Don’t Waste Your Days - It Is Your Time to Live - Not Merely Exist!

We are familiar with the often-quoted phrase: “The saddest words of tongue and pen are this: it might have been.” Our challenge is to carefully examine our grief condition and then execute actions to live our lives fully, given our grief circumstances, with no misgivings and no uncertainties. Even with our heartbreaking, tragic grief experience, we must learn to enjoy healing moments with gratitude as we learn to take the actions necessary to release all anxiety and doubt. Treat each day as a new opportunity. As we choose our personal action plan, be sure our plan is one full of awareness and intention. Let’s not become lost in grief! Let’s live our lives fully and not just merely exist or become lost in grief. Let’s not squander our time. Start healing now!

--- Thoughtfully Choose All Healing Possibilities!

Consider all opportunities; in the midst of our grieving, we must stay alert and be aware of healing doors that may be available for us to open. We really are the ones who determine our permanent destiny. Accept the challenge to rejoice for those things we have; embrace all positive available resources - social media, technology, internet and all other beneficial and essential resource solutions. Think about asking God for help! Overcoming despair, grief, and loss should be our highest priority.

- Our goal is to work through the healing process from grief, loss, and sorrow and begin to enjoy our “new normal” life in this New Year. Acknowledge that the discovery of hope and joy is vital to experiencing lasting peace and a fulfilling life. May the Lord bless you in 2025!