Folks, I’ve been told confession is good for the soul. So here goes! I have been talking to myself! It must be, as it sounds like my voice. And, no one lives in this apartment here at the retirement village, but me.

Some say it is OK to talk to yourself, if you don’t answer yourself! Well, I have even been answering myself!

And, here’s the thing. I don’t always speak kind words to myself. I catch myself, often saying, “Martha, what am I going to do with you?” Or, “Martha, get your act together.” Or, “Martha what were you thinking?” Then, the answer is, “Get with it girl, you were not thinking.”

Now, that is a bit embarrassing to admit. However, it gets worse. My son took me to Braums’s yesterday to get milk. What? I forgot the milk! Thinking back I must have had my mind on making sure to get eggnog ice cream and chocolate chunk cookies.

Now, in all fairness to me, there was a little old man at the milk. He was checking the dates on every jug of milk! I grew tired of waiting and went down the aisle to the cookies. Then my son shows up with the carton of ice cream, asking, “Mom, is this the kind of ice cream you want?” Lo and behold, I went straight to the checkout counter. No milk!

Now, being a good son, he took everything out of the sack and placed it there on my kitchen counter and the ice cream in the freezer. He left and I am putting it away; the cookies in the cookie jar and so forth. Thought to myself, I will go ahead and open the milk, open fridge door. What? No milk? Oh no, he has got his purchases mixed in with mine and took my milk. The receipt was there on my desk. Checked it. What? No milk? But, that is what I went for!

No, my son does not know this and I am thinking I may never tell him. I would rather do without milk forever than to confess this to him. Please don’t you tell him? Then I thought. I must never make fun of my sister, ever again. However, gave it some more thought and decided I just had to tell you her latest.

She was to attend this lunch and was to take a dish. So, she put together this cranberry whatever. Running late, as usual, she hurried into the closet and grabbed a pair of jeans. Realized they were too tight, but no time to change.

Finally, put her purse on her shoulder and grabbed her dish of cranberry whatever. In the other hand, had her walking stick and car keys. Before she got to her car, she realized she had not put the cover tight enough on the cranberry whatever.

That done, then she had to put forth much effort to bend over in the tight jeans to rescue the stick and keys. Back to the house for another purse and finally on her way, late to lunch, with what was left of the cranberry whatever and tight jeans. I beg of you, you must not tell her, or as I have said before – I will be dead meat.

Wife: Do I look fat? Husband: Do I look stupid?